| Situation: |
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| Jack is in Year 5 and his school attendance is 50%. When his parents bring him in, he is crying, he won’t let go of them, they have to carry him in, he is very agitated and distressed, he kicks and hits members of staff that try to take him from his parents. Jack is often not in his school uniform as his parents can’t get him dressed in the mornings. |
| School’s view of the situation |
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| When Jack is in school, he is fine, he does the work, he’s happy in the classroom. School don’t have any challenging behaviours at all, Jack is always friendly and sociable. He is a popular boy with his peers and staff. The only difficulty that school have is when parents bring Jack in to school in the mornings. He is very anxious about separating from his mother. Based on what school see, and past experiences, they think that separation anxiety is the biggest difficulty, and this is why it is so hard for Jack’s parents to get him to school. They can see that this is really difficult for Jack’s parents, and the school have told the parents that they need support to manage Jack’s separation anxiety and set firm, clear boundaries. |
| Parents’ view of the situation |
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| Jack has high levels of anxiety about leaving the house and going anywhere, not just going to school. He finds it easier to go to places that interest him, and if there is a motivating reason, or reward, involved. He is obsessed with gaming and games all the time. It is a battle to get him dressed, to clean his teeth, to get him washed, and he loses control really easily. He shouts, swears, throws things, hits and kicks his parents. He never sleeps, and in the night, he goes into his parents’ room and starts talking at them. Jack is controlling, everything is on his terms. His parents never know how he will respond to situations, which is stressful. It is very hard for his parents to get Jack to school. They often have to restrain him and force him to get dressed, which obviously increases distress and anxiety for everyone. They have to hold the seat belt in place in the car, lock the doors, and carry him in to the school, which is really upsetting, and they worry about the consequences of what they are doing, but they do not know what else they can do to get him in to school. Jack’s parents think he is autistic with a demand avoidant profile, and he is masking in school. They want support, but specialist help for autistic children who are demand avoidant. |
| Misunderstandings based on lack of information about neurodivergent |
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| School is very hard for many neurodivergent children & young people, and it gets increasingly difficult as they get older. Specialist knowledge about neurodivergence has not filtered down to services and education sufficiently in some parts of the country, and autistic children and their families continue to be misunderstood. The situation described above remains quite common, masking is not recognised and the difference between the child’s behaviour at school and home is perceived as poor parenting. Low attendance is a red flag to how hard a child / young person is finding school, but the response is often to increase pressure on the family and child to get them back into school without considering why their attendance is low and what support they need to make school easier for them. “Some autistic children find the demands of school, and the school environment, almost unbearable, leading to absence or ‘school refusal.’ It’s a term that some people feel unfairly implies the child or young person has a choice, when in fact they may not simply be unwilling, but actually unable to tolerate school. School absence or refusal can be ongoing until the reasons behind it have been identified and addressed.” (https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/attendance-problems/parents) |